Brazil's having the best week ever

Brazil is having the best week ever; and so am I.

There's a very prominent disease that attacks Brazilians in general, knocking us off our feet, threatening to diminish our value, ensuing feverous fear and incompetence that is nothing but psychic tricks brought on by a lack of self-assurance and a history of consecutive failures. Brazilians suffer from LNSF, or Low National Self-Esteem. Sure, we’re proud of our 5 World Cup titles, our paradisiacal beaches and our warm and loving people. But deep inside, we all want and need more. There’s an innate need in all Brazilians that screams hoarsely: “Look at me! I’m really really cool!”

This week Brazil received another dosage of a much-needed antidote that may forever defeat this sad case of LNSF. Hosting the 2016 Olympics for us means more than just a summer event full of foreign crowds and rowdy sports maniacs. In fact, the 2016 Olympics will be hosted in the middle of Rio’s brutal blistering winter. The 66 votes that elected Rio to host the summer games were nothing but loud affirmations by the rest of the world that exclaimed somewhat skeptically: “YES! We believe in you?” But we don’t care about the side effects of skepticism. We beat Japan, Spain and mighty Obama’s America. We’re hosting the World Cup and the Olympics 2 years apart, the most important sports events in the planet. We survived this nasty economic swine crisis and even improved, while the rest of the world continues to show high fever and constant hemorrhage.

Brazil is pulling itself out of its self-proclaimed comma. It has planned, created and applied a powerful vaccine that has been slowly destroying the harmful and destructive effects of LNSF. All we needed was the IOC to sign our hospital release papers.

It’s our turn to show the world that we are indeed that cool; that our beaches are actually that beautiful; and that our people are proud, happy, loving and loud. Bring on the world. We’re ready.