Diapers, iPod and chocolate cake

People tell you that parenthood is a crazy thing; that life as you know it will completely change; that from sunrise to sunset you are no longer in control. Although I felt I was as ready as one could be, especially with my extensive 31 years of preparation for this moment, I didn't really know that every single aspect of my existence would be controlled by a 7-pound, chubby-cheeked insomniac. Granted, I do love her even more than a pistachio covered chocolate profiterole next to a succulent Crepe Suzette; that may be the reason either one of us is still in that house. But there's absolutely no college course, no interplanetary internship or even heavenly visitation that could truly prepare you for the change. It's like carefully planning to be broad sided. Just not very effective.

So much has changed overnight in my perspective, actions, priorities and even lifestyle. For example, my paradoxical appreciation and complete disgust for diapers has increased one hundred fold. I could even write a complete novel about my love-hate relationship with that plastic based miracle. I love its endurance and almost certain reliability. But the contents of the package are continually evolving into more than what I would ever want to handle. Some of you may say: "Oh, just wait until she's a toddler. You ain't seen nothing yet, buddy." I'll just take my time and slowly ease into the more awful stage of this whole process.

Sometimes I wonder what is really happening to the Mrs. and I. Last week we went to the grocery store and bought a calorie-filled, preservative based, prepackaged chocolate cake. This is the very first time we have ever done something so absurd. This is very much not like us. Have we no self control anymore? Or is this just a nonsensical knee jerk reaction to sleep deprivation?

Our newly bought iPod Classic, which actually blasted Rhapsody in Blue when the little one was introduced to planet earth, has played nothing but a consistent hum I purchased for 99 cents called "Brown Noise for Babies". So much for storing our eclectic 40 GB collection of tunes.

It sounds like I'm griping, doesn't it? It's far from what I'm trying to do. I would give up iPods, iPads, clean shirts, desserts or precious REM hours of sleep, as long as I got to meet that beautiful little dark haired princess. I've embraced the change, conformed to mayhem and loved every minute of it. Thanks Livy for turning my world upside down. It's a much better world this way.